Published
6 Jan 2017

How to Stop Fighting

Having fewer fights is more fun. When you stop trying to change another person and stop blaming them for your dissatisfaction and frustrations, you become empowered. And, being empowered is good for everyone. There is a huge amount of unnecessary conflict in our relationships. People are continually compromising and settling for much less than they actually want. Relationships are disintegrating right and left because people are fed up and dissatisfied. The blame for this dissatisfaction often falls upon everybody else. Or, also unjustly, the culprit becomes the merits of the relationship itself.

The majority of our partnerships – business, romantic or otherwise, are not dissolving due to a mismatch in personality or incompatibility in desired objectives. They are self-destructing due to a lack of basic skills and abilities to communicate effectively and productively deal with disparities. So, stop creating conflicts where they needn’t be. Stop resigning yourselves to unhappiness and discontent. Stop ditching the entire relationship as your only viable option for improvement.

To become less mad and more glad, begin to Stop, look and listen. Pay attention to what is really going on in a frustrating situation and be honest about what you see. Listen openly to what others are telling you and listen to what you truly desire. Shift the focus to what you want in the midst of a conflict and embrace the skills needed to go about getting it in a way that is collaborative rather than competitive. With effective tools and strategies you become a confident collaborator experiencing far less conflict and much more delightful and happy results.

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