Lately, I’ve been working on following my true life path. I’ve long struggled with the idea of trusting and trusting that The Plan is one I’m going to like. It’s been a persistent challenge. I grew up being told I was fat, stupid and ugly by my sibling, who now cringes at the idea and honestly thinks I’m anything but and can’t believe they ever said that. But it stuck with me. And recently I realized it’s a big barrier to me accepting my true life path and staying on it. Because if I’m fat, stupid, and ugly, my true path is probably pretty lame.
And to place the responsibility where it truly belongs (with me.) I’ve always worried a tad that I might be a bit of a weirdo, an outlier, so early on I determined my true life path was probably one better ignored and avoided. If I wanted to fit in, be liked and not end up in a mumu and Birkenstocks, (One of my biggest fears.) ((Not judging, it just wasn’t a version of myself I wanted to experience.)) it was going to be best to assess what everyone normal, conventional, happier, and out and out better was doing and follow in their footsteps.