21 Feb 2021

Owning our False Narratives

When feelings of not being good enough, powerlessness and rejection arise, we often react by constructing a false narrative to protect ourselves. This is our “Survive and Thrive” strategy to control potentially unpleasant situations that we may encounter in the future and resolve those unwelcome feelings in the present.  We elegantly wrap our challenging experience in stories about ourselves, and others, that are synthetically manufactured to deal with the discomfort of hurt, guilt, or shame that has arisen. We clean up the uncomfortable experience by framing it in a false sensibility. We make up a story to protect our heart, so we can pack away the experience and feel in control. This act makes a lot of sense to our mind; it’s a great plan. Except it’s not. These false narratives, it turns out, are disruptive and obstructive. These stories woven with the best of intentions, to protect us from pain, create intimacy blocks that result in emotional and cognitive dissonance in our hearts and our future interactions, obstructing our path to joy and fulfillment.

in an attempt to protect ourselves, we inadvertently erected barriers to genuine relating – unintentionally causing ourselves additional pain, separation, and disappointment. The solution is recognizing and owning our false narratives. The stories we’ve woven and set in place for protection can simply be replaced by expanding our authentic personal power.  When you detect a reactive narrative  waving its arms for attention, or quieting tapping your shoulder and whispering in your ear, simply notice, acknowledge its beckoning, embrace its intention and sink into the associative emotions.  Then you can thank this well meaning, well intentioned, block and let go of the fictions that were created to protect you from pain. Intimately engage with these false narratives and watch them dissolve and float away. Now, you can invite these previously fragmented aspects of self back into the fold of your oh so powerfully centered whole.



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